[garentee]

Rafael,
Thank you so much for your advice. I know there is anger, but I do not know what it is that is the cause. I mean I know it is because my mom died young. However Its really lodged in there. I am going to try to do as you suggested...I have on occasion had conversations with her at her grave which I found to be useful, I have also written her letters... I think what the problem may be is that I need to get at what I felt THEN. It is still in there. I am ready to feel this pain. I had an intense experience yesterday at the beach where I walked barefoot in the cold surf over stones. the air temp was about 50 degrees. but I did not care how cold I got. it did not mater. I stood still with the surf bringing stones over my feet and told her that I loved her... I thanked her and my dad for bringing me into this world and it made me cry.. It was so intensely beautiful and painful all at the same time. Rather cathartic.. I need to do more of this type of stuff. Thanks again.G