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Originally Posted by VelociRaptor  So now I start a new stage in my life, hoping to try and find some new friends and start trying to really enjoy life. I think one of the mistakes (not sure if that is the best word for it) I made during the relationship was committing all my time and effort to it and forgetting about myself. |
Never allow yourself to be an option in someone's life while making them a priority in your life.
No matter how good a relationship starts out, when you lose your individuality in a relationship and live your life just to please your partner without any concern for yourself you become the kind of person that your partner can & will live without.
Use this time to pick yourself up.
Hang out with friends that you haven't been seeing in a while, go to the gym, get in shape, go shopping, change the wardrobe a little bit, become new again, get into self-improvement, get into your job or do some volunteer work, look & feel great about yourself, your life and the things you are doing.
You will become attractive to yourself, you'll like yourself/love yourself and you will notice that you will become the kind of person that is attractive to other people because of your improved mindset & appearance. You won't be worrying about being shy or "wussy", you will just be you and that will work.
There's alot of shy people out there, someone eventually has to make the first move and say a word, think about it that way, it might make things easier the next time you're out & about looking to make a connection.
And hey... don't just jump into a relationship. Try dating a while. Even if it's the same 1 or 2 people, just enjoy going out, having a meal or going out for drinks or just talking over coffee, just enjoy the experience of connecting to another person over conversation & laughter without worrying about getting so close & personal to someone that you have to exchange bodily fluids and share a living arrangement with. Take a break from all that and just enjoy going out and being with people, it's actually very fun.
If you're really have trouble connecting with someone in person, try an online dating site, put up a profile and pic and browse others, it's no mystery, lots of other people are in the same boat as you. Don't look at it as a disadvantage, look at it as an advantage - your situation isn't unique, you're not the only one with a past. Let go of your past and start focusing on your present, you'll find you have alot more energy to deal with stuff constructively & positively.
Get past the initial hesitation & fear and just do it.
Let us know how it works out.