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Say for instance something bad happens to someone you love,but you see it as they are just perceiving it as something bad,but theyre upset,and they get upset that youre not upset,and then they'll think you don't care.
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When you are genuinely present and non-judgmental with somebody who is suffering, they will know you care. This is love, and it is unmistakable.
If you ever feel like you need somebody else to change for you to be at peace, you are not present. Keep reading the book; things will become clearer.