Dear G,
I'm so sorry for your loss and, as someone who lost their mother when I was young, I can relate to some of what this day might mean to you.
What was helpful for me in processing this event was getting clear on what I was angry about. I mean, specifically, what was I telling myself and how this conflicted with my demands on how the world must function (my "should's").
But, as you sort through these beliefs, I would ask you if you believe that your mother wanted to leave you--that is, if she had been given a conscious choice, that she would have chosen to leave life and thereby leave you. If your answer is "No," please keep that in mind as you anger. If your answer is "Yes," then, if your experience is similar to mine, I'd wonder if you're angry at yourself. If that's the case, I hope you can forgive yourself; there's tremendous healing power in forgiveness. |