My dad died when I was 11 from cancer so I felt a lot different emotions as well. (That doesn't mean that my post is any better than the other people's who will also respond.)
I think I felt this way in an effort to abdicate emotional responsibility. For example, it's so easy to blame (and thus feel anger or self-pity) my current emotional state on my dad's death. If I do that, then I'm free of responsibility and then the fact that he won't return to life can lead to even more anger or self-pity.
You may not relate to that example but you can use your emotions as a guide. I believe emotions to be the result of fulfillment or non-fulfillment of desires, expectations or needs. For example, you could be expecting your mom to be a source of comfort, teaching, a listening ear, etc and since she's not here, that desire isn't fulfilled and you feel anger.
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