Your question sounds pretty similar to another one posted on the forum, which I've just answered. Of course, in your case, yours is a committed relationship in a marriage.
For any negative emotions ranging from hurt, or shyness to approach strangers, etc, try the free technique known as EFT found at
EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else. This technique involves you tapping certain acupunctural points in your body, to zap out all negative emotions. Miraculously, it works! I had been a sceptic but am now a convert. If you need to see visually and follow the steps, there are many videos on Youtube which you can view. Do a search for "EFT" or "emotional freedom technique" in the toolbar.
It is hard to say how long you should wait to start a new relationship. Are you ready in the first place? If you are still carrying past hurts, then it is better not to. Perhaps you should really be using this time to evaluate what you really want out of a relationship. It also does not hurt to date around a little, so that you can decide what you are looking for. If you are looking for someone else to fill the void inside you just for the sake of filling in the void, then this is not a good idea.
It is important to set aside time to be on your own. Without the clutter and away from the noise, you will learn more about yourself. This is time well spent!
And of course, travel, see the world, read books and pick up new interests!
Hope the above helps,
Evelyn