Hi. I'm new here. I am a teacher of 8th graders. I've been doing that for soooooo many years. This is my 25th, and YES I am looking forward to retirement in about 5 years or so. So, here's my issue: I have these cousins, females, and we are all in the same age bracket. We've all grown up like sisters, with one exception: I moved to a different city 25 years ago to begin my career. In the meantime, our parents have aged.MIne are the oldest and are in their 80's now. Now we are sadly at that time when it is very apparent that life isn't forever. So, today I get this lecture from cousin number 1 about how I need to come in town more often, that I've missed times that I should've come in town, my parents need me, i've missed holidays, etc. What irks me, and I told her this, is that I KNOW I don't live there. Damn, it's hard enough to realize that day in and day out. I live with the guilt of it all too often, especially when I see how my father and mother have aged. And I wasn't there to SEE it happen gradually. No, instead I get to see it WHACK right in my face all in one hit. I admit, I could go into town more frequently, and I hope to do so. But frankly , up until now, my parents didn't have dire NEED of me. Heck, my dad was playing tennis up until 81, and that was two years ago. Guilt trip. I am on this mega guilt trip, and I don't need to be. I spoke with my mom, and she even said to "let it go. they always think they know more than we do...." and she was referring to her sister and my cousins. Does this make any sense at all? Or am I just rambling? The fact is, they do NOT know or respect boundaries, as in my family, there have never been firm boundaries established. I look forward to hearing from you all...oh, and nice to meet you...and thanks for listening.
