After a lot of struggling myself with trying to help someone who is struggling and having fallen into the trap of trying too hard, I finally came to terms with the fact that there's only so much I can do. Being fully present with the person has worked better in some situations than trying to help by verbally expressing solutions, ideas and even words of comfort. It's not easy to see someone we love struggling with anything, but the fact is that the changes that could reverse whatever situation they are going through need to come from within them. And it wasn't until I fully accepted that, I mean, FULLY accepted it (because I already knew this intellectually), that I was able to feel more in peace about not being able to help.
Each person has their own path to follow. Sometimes they are open to a solution you are trying to give them, sometimes they are not. And sometimes what makes sense to us, just doesn't work for them. Accepting them for who and where they are seems to be the best we can do in many situations.
If you can't change THEIR struggle, at least don't struggle yourself with not being able to help. You being in a state of struggling doesn't put you in a better position to help anyway. So lead by example whenever possible, be present whenever appropriate and love them always.
