Quote:
Originally Posted by Cornfused  We've actually had a problem with sex since we first met over 5 years ago. it was never really "important" to him and I was constantly rejected. I don't want to end my marriage, but something has got to give. I've suggested counseling, but he isn't for it. He tells me he will do anything to make it better, yet he still doesn't initiate sex. I'm at a total loss. |
Cornfused,
I suspect the problem is that he is not sexually confident. Perhaps he feels he cannot please you sexually, and the longer he avoids it, the more insurmountable the task seems. This lack of confidence can cause impotence and disinterest. You just can't wish these things away.
Porn and fetishes are particularly attractive to people that have trouble getting aroused under normal conditions. I seriously doubt that porn is the source of the problem.
How is his health? Is he self conscious about his physique? Is his lifestyle fairly healthy? Has he got depression issues?
In any case, Erin is correct. If sex is something you don't want to live without in your marriage, this has to be made clear to him. But don't approach him with demands or accusations. Approach him with love and acceptance, and a spirit of co-operation.