You mentioned that you really dislike what you are doing and feel adrift/apathetic. Of course, if you feel that what you are choosing to do is drudgery, you won't perform at your best and, per your anecdote about the presentation, may not perform at all! We innately hate to do what we aren't motivated to do. So what motivates you? What are you passionate about and really want to do? I would suggest spending some time thinking about why you have chosen this path you're presently taking. Perhaps you need to reconsider your major and the types of courses or course load Maybe, since you dislike giving presentations, you should try to choose to take courses where speaking is not a major component of your grade. Alternatively, you could choose to turn a weakness into a strength by working on your presentation skills, talking to good presenters and learning how to build a talk, which are important communication tools in college and beyond. This would require some effort from you but it would be worth it.
Next semester or quarter, sign up for one course that you enjoy and believe you will succeed at. Give yourself a chance to succeed, have one small win to build your confidence. Build enthusiasm and passion about what you are doing. Most of all, be clear about where you are going, why you're going there, and what you can reasonably expect from yourself. Then, just have faith, and demonstrate it to yourself by proving to yourself, first in small ways, and then, once you get momentum, in larger ways, that you CAN succeed. You may need to change direction entirely, or perhaps you just need to tweak your environment and choices you are making a little bit. All is definitely not lost. Just re-evaluate where you are and why, and then put yourself in a position where success is more readily obtained, even if it's small at first. Only you know where those boundaries lie.
Good luck!
Amber  |