Hey, your situation sounds real similar to mine a few months back.
I am recently a two-time college dropout
, and life couldn't be better. It just started getting better as of like, one month ago lol. After highschool ('07), I went to University and hated it.
I felt terrible, and everyone seemed smarter than me. I was apathetic, indifferent and depressed. I failed EVERY SINGLE course lmao. I got no credits, whatsoever. I didn't ever watch t.v., fool around with games, or anything like that. At first, when I slept through a class, or failed an assignment, I would be very disappointed as I was only failing myself. But apathy crept in, and then I started to just say, whatever. "I forgot this or that, oh well". I then wasn't so hard on myself. But that mindset is extremely destructive, and a downward spiral occurs.
I'll tell you what though. It was the best experience of my life because it changed my whole thought pattern.
I would spend all my days just reflecting on my thoughts and emotions, why I thought the way I did, etc. But sifting through my thoughts, however random and confusing, gave me clarity.
All I can tell you is that you shouldn't worry about others, because that's what I did. Who cares how long it takes to write a paper, because it is irrelevant. No one person is better than you. You just need to find your strengths and exploit them. People are all the same, no matter how god-like some may seem. Everyone fears, succeeds and fails.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing though, is to be CONFIDENT. It is the cure of all cures. And when you start to truly believe in yourself and what you are capable of, your confidence will soar. I promise you.
Spend so much time on improving yourself compared to YOURSELF, rather than comparing yourself to OTHERS. There is always somebody faster, smarter and stronger.
I hope this helped because I was in a seemingly identical situation just a few months ago. Just enjoy life for what it is, and always work to improve yourself. Be proactive in being the master of your thoughts, because no one else has the power to do just that. Take action on positive thoughts, and you'll find life to be rewarding.
One last thing to remember: Never let anyone tell you what is best for YOU, because they don't have a clue, nor are they in any position to.
Since dropping out, I've started a business and I am really enjoying life by taking it at my own pace. I feel infinitely free, and it's the best I've ever felt. I know you may not feel as opimistic right now, but trust me. I felt the same about 4 months ago. Hang in there, and things will get better. Strive for it. It is possible to turn any situation on a 180 by JUST changing your THOUGHTS.
To help you, this is what helped me:
-Help at least one person throughout the course of a day
-Give yourself a To-Get Done list for the day, and DO it. (you'll feel very productive)
-Make an effort to meet someone new every day
-Give everything your absolute best effort, because what you put in gets multiplied tenfold on the output.
Take care.