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Originally Posted by Jennihul  Do you want him in prison? I know some moms who would rather have their ex in prison than be stiffed on child support. They can't earn anything in prison though. And it affects your kid's self-image to grow up with a dad in prison. |
No, I don't want him in jail, and I'm fairly sure thats what will end up happening. I feel like I am allowing, and even encouraging his lack of responsibility by not reporting it.
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Originally Posted by Jennihul However, it's important that someone KNOWS you are being stiffed. |
Not sure how to do this without him getting into legal trouble.
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Originally Posted by Jennihul But more importantly, if it were me and seemed as futile as your situation seemed, I would pull out some LOA, forgiveness and gratitude and figure out a way to live excellently without his help at all. Because nothing is worth allowing yourself to be robbed of the joy you should be feeling every second of the day. Nor your kids.
Jennifer |
Good piece of advice Jennifer, thanks!
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Originally Posted by Ree However, if I were in your shoes and I could not adequately support my children to the point, let's say, that I couldn't afford to buy new shoes for them or a coat when one needs it, or money for a field trip at school, I would go after their father for his share of the support. I couldn't watch my children going without while their father sat on his lazy a$$. |
I think my kids suffer because I have to work so much to support them, that we get very little time together that isn't stressed.
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Originally Posted by JorgeHTQH Hi there, sorry to hear about your situation. If he has a drug problem then most likely he couldn't hold down a job if he had one.
A true father is one who provides for his children and does whatever he can for them. If he hasn't given you any money for some time now then he should not consider himself their father and should lose his privaledge to see them, that's if he see's them at all. |
We share legal custody of the children, although I have primary physical custody, so I don't believe I have any rights to deprive him of his rights to see the kids, and he does see the younger two twice a week.
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Originally Posted by JorgeHTQH He will eventually pay for his errors one way or another. Good luck. |
I think you're right about that, but it doesn't help pay the food bill!!
I looked on the DOR website today, and one of the things that I noticed was that once you sign over your case to them, you lose your rights to ask them to stop the process. It says something to the effect of, "the payee has to go along with whatever course of action the State deems appropriate, whether the payee agrees to the action or not". It also says that they will not assume responsibility for any legal fees incurred.
I don't want revenge, but I do want justice and equality. Maybe thats just not possible in a divorce situation.