Hi all,
Thanks for all the advice :-).
"I think a far more effective way of being in the desire for compassion, connection, and relatedness is Presence. Just Being There. Free of judgement, free of needing to be right or to look good, generating freedom and love. Hearing what the person has to say the way she wants you to hear it".
Thanks, that's sounds like some good advice I've heard before but kinda struggle to do consistently, I'll work on it :-)
"Maybe empathy is part of your personal life purpose, too."
I feel best when I can feel a connection and be in empathy with others, so yeah it is part of my purpose.
"How can I communicate with someone if I can't understand their feelings?"
That's exactly how I feel!! I can't communicate on a soul level unless I can truly understand where they're coming from in terms of their feelings.
"One of the things I do and one of the things I'm really good at is discerning the underlying question or intent of a person's statements. I almost never answer a person's spoken question, I answer the underlying question that caused them to ask that question"
That's exactly what I want to be able to do consistently! So how do you realise the underlying question? Sometimes I can feel it and other times I'm well off base.
"In situations I often imagine what the other person is feeling because it allows me to communicate more clearly and easily, addressing their issues not their words. Words often fail to express what a person is really feeling or thinking".
But here's where I sometimes hit a snag, sometimes I'm spot on, other times I'm not, how do you know when you're just imagining what you think the other persons feeling as opposed to what they're actually feeling? Is there I mindset you adopted that allows you to be free of your own personal opinions that would influence what you believe they're feeling?
"I would probably do exercises designed to make me more aware of others in my environment. Then I would imagine how a person is feeling. Then find out if I'm right."
I've tried this, but this is what's been giving mixed results for me- hit and miss.
"But now I have that feeling. It's that softness in my core that I can carry over to drape like a blanket over whomever I'm working with. I've put aside all my baggage and garbage and all the stories I'm telling myself about this person and I'm simply there to connect with an open mind and open heart."
Maybe this is what I've been missing and what Erin does unconciously, thanks I'll give it a go! :-)  |