Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Should I get the State involved in Child Support Collection?

Honeywith4bees · 05-07-2008, 04:15 PM

I have been separated/divorced from the Father of my children for about five years now. At the time of our separation order, it was determined that my ex husband should pay me a certain amount of money each month towards the financial support of our children who primarily reside with me. We decided at that time not to involve the DOR in our lives in the payment/collection of that child support.

In the past five years, I have maintained records of what is owed and what payments have been made. During our marriage, my children's father was working full time and earning about $1000. per week. About two years before we divorced, he started having more and more drug problems that interfered with his ability to get and hold down jobs. Since that time, he has decided that his life is more fulfilling when he doesn't work at paying jobs at all. He wants to have copious amounts of free time and time to do various volunteer things that make him feel good. He has been in trouble with the law a few times and still struggles with a drug addiction.

Every week it's up to me to ask if he has any child support money. He is now just about ten thousand dollars in arrears.

I'm tired of being the keeper of records. I'm tired of bearing all the financial responsibilities and I'm tired of all the victim/martyr feelings that I carry around related to me not allowing him to take full financial responsibility for his children. I'm contemplating filing with the DOR, but do I really want the State involved in my life?

Any one have any experience with this?

05-07-2008, 04:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
Honeywith4bees Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 516	Should I get the State involved in Child Support Collection? I have been separated/divorced from the Father of my children for about five years now. At the time of our separation order, it was determined that my ex husband should pay me a certain amount of money each month towards the financial support of our children who primarily reside with me. We decided at that time not to involve the DOR in our lives in the payment/collection of that child support. In the past five years, I have maintained records of what is owed and what payments have been made. During our marriage, my children's father was working full time and earning about $1000. per week. About two years before we divorced, he started having more and more drug problems that interfered with his ability to get and hold down jobs. Since that time, he has decided that his life is more fulfilling when he doesn't work at paying jobs at all. He wants to have copious amounts of free time and time to do various volunteer things that make him feel good. He has been in trouble with the law a few times and still struggles with a drug addiction. Every week it's up to me to ask if he has any child support money. He is now just about ten thousand dollars in arrears. I'm tired of being the keeper of records. I'm tired of bearing all the financial responsibilities and I'm tired of all the victim/martyr feelings that I carry around related to me not allowing him to take full financial responsibility for his children. I'm contemplating filing with the DOR, but do I really want the State involved in my life? Any one have any experience with this?