IMO being a player isn't "bad". For me, it seems too inauthentic and inorganic. As if you're putting on an act. The second thing is that then you are treating women as means to an end (personal satisfaction) rather than ends in themselves.
All that said, I always wondered about this: There are some guys who do the stuff that's in the player literature naturally. IE that's just a part of who they are rather than being forced. And there's the guys who, instead of seeing themselves as taking advantage of women or influencing them into doing something they're not interested in, see themselves as simply wanting to share a good time with another like-minded person.
Tha tmakes me think that at least some guys have some sheepishness about sex, too, as if its something bad or our drives are something to be held back (this is almost certainly social conditioning). Some men are conditioned to be less forthright or even to suppress their sexual agressiveness, if its something to be covered up or to be shy about. Still not sure about this one, sexuality is a tricky topic in our society.
__________________ Mind-Manual
"Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough clever rationalization." - Tim Ferriss |