The ability to feel empathy is definitely one you can develop.
The thing you have to get past is all the garbage you tell yourself about someone that separates them from you.
You have to get yourself in a place of compassion, recognize that feeling - 'cause it
has a real physical sensation right? - and then carry that feeling with you as you engage the person you're struggling with connecting to.
For me, I visualize puppies. Sounds corny I know.
But I'm a dog person and nothing in the world will melt my heart and make me all warm and fuzzy faster than an eight or nine week old, fluffy puppy with big soft eyes and a wet, shiny little nose. (If you're a dog person, just reading this probably made you go "Awwwww...." Sorry cat people... I just don't get you.
)
I mean, who can be angry or hateful towards something that is so vulnerable, so innocent and so trusting?
But now I have that
feeling. It's that softness in my core that I can carry over to drape like a blanket over whomever I'm working with. I've put aside all my baggage and garbage and all the stories I'm telling myself about this person and I'm simply there to connect with an open mind and open heart.
I suspect this process would work for anyone - you just have to figure out what makes you go, "Awwww...."
