Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

kboleski · 05-06-2008, 09:26 PM

SmartAlx, Well said! I was going to go that route as well. Not so eloquently spoken, but the same nonetheless.

KEN NUBO, It is easy to call any one person a loser because you see an aspect of them that is less than acceptable. What I am not hearing in your post is any attempt to understand that there are reasons for their behaviour (whatever that behaviour may be.) I do agree with you that if someone has a problem, he/she can complain, gripe, etc.. for a period of time, but then one has to turn it around, find a solution, deal with it and move on with life. You can't gripe and complain and never make changes.

I see some truth in your post about the usual behaviours of a loser, but we all have our issues. While you may (or may not) have it more together than the next person, you are not perfect. No one is. Some of your issues have become pretty obvious by the breadth of your post. I can say "You just need to walk in their shoes", but that really doesn't cover it. What is missing is the fundamental care and concern for other human beings. Why don't you care enough to discuss their issue with them? Why don't you try to help them see a different way of looking at it, or how important it is for them to stop complaining and do something about it? We all need help at times. Judging them, laughing at them, ignoring them only makes them feel worse and fuels the insecurity that they feel.

Why don't you strive to be the person that can make a difference? It doesn't mean that you have to let them bring you down. That is when you respectfully bow out. What you caring enough to try to make a difference means is that you want to try to be the kind of friend that can help them if they let you. If you are as great as you seem to think you are, I think that would be something you would aspire to as a human being. Be a source of positive attitude, happiness, something that when they leave YOUR presence, they feel better having been around you. If it is the other way around, that means you are the one that didn't have what it took to do the right thing, and you should stop complaining that other people aren't doing the right things.

05-06-2008, 09:26 PM	#55 (permalink)
kboleski Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Kansas Posts: 54	Ken - Look at it differently SmartAlx, Well said! I was going to go that route as well. Not so eloquently spoken, but the same nonetheless. KEN NUBO, It is easy to call any one person a loser because you see an aspect of them that is less than acceptable. What I am not hearing in your post is any attempt to understand that there are reasons for their behaviour (whatever that behaviour may be.) I do agree with you that if someone has a problem, he/she can complain, gripe, etc.. for a period of time, but then one has to turn it around, find a solution, deal with it and move on with life. You can't gripe and complain and never make changes. I see some truth in your post about the usual behaviours of a loser, but we all have our issues. While you may (or may not) have it more together than the next person, you are not perfect. No one is. Some of your issues have become pretty obvious by the breadth of your post. I can say "You just need to walk in their shoes", but that really doesn't cover it. What is missing is the fundamental care and concern for other human beings. Why don't you care enough to discuss their issue with them? Why don't you try to help them see a different way of looking at it, or how important it is for them to stop complaining and do something about it? We all need help at times. Judging them, laughing at them, ignoring them only makes them feel worse and fuels the insecurity that they feel. Why don't you strive to be the person that can make a difference? It doesn't mean that you have to let them bring you down. That is when you respectfully bow out. What you caring enough to try to make a difference means is that you want to try to be the kind of friend that can help them if they let you. If you are as great as you seem to think you are, I think that would be something you would aspire to as a human being. Be a source of positive attitude, happiness, something that when they leave YOUR presence, they feel better having been around you. If it is the other way around, that means you are the one that didn't have what it took to do the right thing, and you should stop complaining that other people aren't doing the right things.