[The Cloud]

I was once in a similar situation to you. I spent a lot of time trying to find a perfect, universally applicable philosophy. A philosophy with no contradictions between itself and reality, and thus none of the negative emotions that arise due to those contradictions.

Then one day the idea that I did not exist as a discrete individual occurred to me and blew everything out of the water. Because you see, all my attempts at philosophy were centered around me, they assumed a discrete me to think the necessary thoughts and perform the necessary actions to hold the philosophy. But, realistically speaking, there was no 'I', and thus any philosophy would be incomplete because it would be based on something that does not strictly exist. So, in order to have a perfectly philosophy, it must be a philosophy of the universe, centered around existence as a whole.

But how does one do that? Once cannot think in terms of existence, because the universe can't think about itself because it does not have a reference point to compare itself to. It is everything. It just is. So we just are. Any concept we try to use to describe something is false, any word untrue, because fundamentally you cannot separate one aspect of the universe from another because they are completely interdependent. Concepts, ideas used to separate a whole into parts, cannot describe reality. Thus, they are not real, and should not be confused with what is real.