Thank you Angela for your reply as well. You are right about when someone says that you should just get out. And in every relationship ive had before him ive done just that. I had kinda the Marilyn Monroe reasoning... leave before you are left. But with him its very different. Whatever it is between us is powerful enough to keep us together through all this, cuz like i said i would never have stayed if i didnt believe that there was something worth staying for.
Agian you are right, i do not blame him for what has happened. And the reason i havnt talked much about the baby is because i wanted to see if there was something i was missing between him and i. The babies health is doing very well and we will be finding out next week what it is we are having. We are both excited more than scared now. At first it was a big scare neither one of are ready but neither one of us believe in aborting a life that was created from love. In answer to your questions i have no doubt in my mind that he will be a great father. Hes always been a family oriented man and so i do not worry about that at all. We have had some discussions as to what will happen should him and i not work out. We have mutually agreed that we will not stay together just for the baby... that cannot be the only reason. And we have decided on joint custody should something like that happen. I have alot of family support if we do not work out for places i can stay til i get back on my feet. Financially i would not be able to support myself let alone another life at this moment. My job has cut my hours due to my being pregnant and having restrictions of what i can and cannot do. So im currently looking for another job to save some money before im out of work for a few months.
I do agree with you though and since this winters break of him and i i have some to the conclusion that i do need to make a back up plan should we not work out. But maybe i should have explained a little further into why he felt like he needed out of the relationship he is going to be 21 in june. He has owned his own house now for 2 years. I have been living with him since it has been set on the property. He has been in serious relationships since he was in 7th grade. He dated a girl from 7th to 12th. And then they broke up for him to get into another relationship for a few months and then when they split it was only about a month before he met me. I am going to be 24 about the same time that our baby is born. I have had alot more relatiosnhips than he has and ive had more sexual partners as well. We have been completely open and honest to eachother about our past. And not that im making excuses for him i just want you to see that hes not a bad man and that this mess that happened did hurt him as well as me. Although sometimes i do focus on him to much and thats probly why it hurt me more. But when i was 19/20 i was in a serious relationship that i backed out of because i wanted to be free to sleep with whoever i wanted to come and go as i pleased and basically to do whatever i wanted without feeling like i needed to tell someone where i had been. And essentially what happened is he felt about the same. Not so much with the wanting to sleep around but he just wanted to be free of everything. Which i think alot of us could understand. Its never been me that he wanted away from. It was the relationship, the house the fact that he felt like he just turned 40 when he turned 20. The want to be little agian. And i believe his little break made him realize that abandoning all your responsibilities isnt going to make everything better. He has told me that no matter what happens he doesnt want to lose me out of his life. He wants us to always keep our friendship even if we dont make it as a couple. I on the other hand am the one whos not sure i can do that. I will never keep his child from him or his family. But if him and i dont work out im not so sure i could be friends with him. Which is a big part of why i joined this forum to maybe open my mind a little more and realize that if i lost him i dont have to lose my faith as well. I love him more than ive ever loved anyone, in a healthy way im not pyscho and i let him have his space. Since this winter he has alot more freedom to come and go and hang out with his buddies without me. Before *because we share the same friends* I would always want to go to. And now when he tells me he just wants it to be a boys night i go and hang out with my mom or with my girlfriends.
But agian thank you so much for your reply i do appreciate it and it has given me something to think about.
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