Ah, Chad, are you explaining to us why you cannot possibly get out of your depression again? Glad to see! It feels so homey, you know, that whenever I check the forums there is an active Chado-complaining-thread somewhere
So let's play the game. This time I recommend you to read the
Power of Now. You're so identified with your depression that you absolutely refuse to let it go. That's your ego, it's not the true you.
Have you tried to give up all drugs, eat healthy, drink plenty of water and walk two hours a day? Of course you haven't. Duh! It would work.