Quote:
Originally Posted by Parthon  You care because you are human. 
It sounds like you care about her because she's a good person deep down, just as you are. you also want to save the relationship, because if you didn't you wouldn't be posting here. The thing to do is get into her world, find out why she so sarcastic, controlling and nasty compared to her normal caring self. There has to be a reason why she's like that, and it's not because she's strong. Strong people don't need to control a situation using sarcasm and nastiness, so there's something going on that's making her weak.
Assertiveness is being emotionally strong in the face of everything people throw at you, having so much respect for yourself and other people that you can stand up for yourself and what's really important. Use your personal strength to call her our on her ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Tell her that she's not "honest" she's just nasty. Tell her that she's judgemental and a bigot. Then ask her why? Ask her, "I know you are a nice friendly person at heart, so why are you so sarcastic and nasty some the time?"
As for when to break it off, it's never the situation that breaks up a relationship, it's always the attitude and long running behaviour that does it. It all comes down to respect. When a person has no respect for another, there can be no honest relationship there because there's no foundation for trust, mutual sharing or meaningful interaction. There's no point being in a relationship without respect. So you have to ask yourself, does she respect you? Then use that to decide. In the end, it's up to you.
For myself, I've only broken a friendship with one person. He kept aggressively pressing an issue I was having in my life and judging me for it to the point of condemning me for something I couldn't immediately change. He threatened me and said many disrespectful things, at it was at this point when I realised he was more invested in judging me rather than having a friendship with me. It was then I politely turned around and asked him not to be my friend any more. It was not a pretty scene after that, but it didn't start off pretty either. Since then, some our mutual friends have stayed friends with him and the stories they tell means he hasn't changed. I definately don't regret that choice, it was definately the right thing to do. |
I am aware of why she does that. Well, I don't know what caused it, what events in her life as such. But she is very paranoid as a person. Things that most people won't care about much, get her extremely worked up. But then she is also not very close to me to share that with me. This one friend is both of ours best friend (ya, bad for her, Friend B), she told me how there is stuff about her she knows that helps her tolerate her behaviour more. Friend A won't want to tell me until we are on good grounds.
I feel so angry talking about it because the reason I wanted to talk to her was to point out the things she does that annoys me but it ended up being all about how I have been handling my life for past year. And she conveniently blamed my boyfriend for some of the stuff because that's when I started my relationship. Not just that, HAHA, she told me that I have hurt our mutual friend A LOT and I am the worst of the friend among the 3 of us
. Ok, that sounds VERY middle-schoolish but she did say that.
The reason I am bouncing back and forth is because I know she is a good person. I don't know why I am doing this though. I had make up my mind before this conversation that if she is being her usual self, I will NOT put up with it. And I didn't but now I am wondering. UGH!
I also think she needs to apologize to me for all the crap she said.
Last year has been very difficult for me. I went through some problems that have changed me A LOT now. Haha, funniest was how easily she turned all of my problems into a bad case of SAD because according to her I was doing a lot better during the Summer months last year and getting better again. All that she knows about me is through Friend B who was telling her stuff about me and even she didn't know everything.
UGH!!
Ok, in her defense, she was feeling sick and got veryy irritated. What Friend B told me.
I'm angry and I know I am going on and on blabbering. She had a BILLION wrong assumptions about me. Just because my family is worried about me doesn't mean I can't have any problems with them. Or if they are worried, I'll drop my problems with them and act like everything is fine.
I feel like writing her an angry email.