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Originally Posted by Rockchick26  The problem I have with asking questions is i start to feel nosy,like maybe they don't want somebody prying into their life without them willingly offering the information. It also seems desperate and clingy to me,to just sit and barrage this person with questions when you barely know them,like the only thing on your mind is THIS PERSON and there isnt even a you anymore. I think that you have to have a feeling of "go with the flow" when conversing with new people. It's much more free feeling,and casual,and loose. Not so much like a job interview then. I've ALWAYS felt this way when having awkward first meetings with people,like it was just a job interview. My advice is to talk about whatever you're thinking about,and kinda dwell on one subject for as long as you can,but be free with it,kinda like joke around within the subject. Some of the best conversations i've had weren't even about a subject,just casual funny comments back and forth,goofy and random. It feels too forced if you have to come up with question and answer based conversation. |
Sure, but we're talking about someone who is uncomfortable and/or is not used to loose, flowing conversations; very common when meeting new people.
Asking questions works because most people will ask you questions back. Also replies give you opportunities to make comments (hopefully supportive), and get into a topic outside of "that person." For instance, "what kind of music do you like?" "i like eric clapton" "oh, do you like tears in heaven?" "yes, i love it" "did you know it's a song about..., isn't that sad?" etc etc...
Asking questions ABOUT the person is just the starting point. That is how you find out what they're interested in, so you know what they would enjoy talking about. Also.. this is the reason open ended questions are best to start with, something i forgot to mention.