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In groups (and that includes duos), there are always herders (those who take initiative) and sheep (those who follow initiative).
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Jim, this is a great analogy. And I agree that friendships are pretty much never 50/50.
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I wonder why I am usually the herder. I dont think it is purely coincidence. I guess other people are just not as interested in friendship as I am.
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Introspective,
You're right that it's not a coincidence. Maybe your friends sense that you are a natural leader, so they wait for you to call them.
Or if that's not that case, they may just have a different idea of friendship than you do. Perhaps for them, being in a friendship means hanging out very rarely. Or perhaps they don't think that friendships require constant maintenance.
I understand that you are bothered when you feel you
always have to be the one to initiate contact, but also weigh the "inconvenience" with the value of the friendship. For instance, if I want to hang out with a friend, I usually don't just wait for them to call. And I don't get angry if they don't read my mind and call me first. The point is that you are spending time together, and to me it's not important who initiated it. I guess you have to ask yourself, are these friendships valuable enough for me to pursue them, even if I feel I am putting forth more effort than my friends? If they are valuable, than just accept that you may have to be the person who initiates contact most of the time. If you don't think it's worth it, then just stop contacting them, and if they are as lazy as you say, then the friendship will just dissolve.