[Rose of Cairo]

Hey Jamie, I'm rereading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and something made me think of you. I can't quote it because I have the German version. It's chapter 10, the section about surrender in relationships, especially the last paragraph where he talks about pretending and role playing. Have you read this book? I highly recommend to read or reread it!

Originally Posted by Jamie

I think understanding why we do things, the motivations for our (ego-based) behaviours, can be a very good first step in dropping these unwanted behaviours.

I guess I don't agree with that. In my eyes, thinking about the ego's motivations is again feeding the ego by using your mind on it instead of being present, surrendering and letting go of unwanted behaviors.

Once we have an awareness of the issue, the why and the wherefor, these things drop away naturally (in theory!).

Well, from my little experience, it doesn't work this way. But do as you wish

Anyhow, it feels as if, when I try to impress, or put on a fake front, that I dishonour my inner sense of wonderfulness.

Of course you do!

I cover that up, and perhaps confuse weakness for strength, and strength for weakness. Does that make sense?

Yes absolutely. Tolle talks about that as well.

It's like an unwillingness we men have to expose our soft underbelly, or vulnerablity

Don't generalize like that in order to hide yourself behind "men" What "men" have isn't relevant. It's about you as a unique individual. I bet this unwillingness to show your vulnerability is just your ego.

Perhaps this reflects what we generally feel, women want to see in men?

So you want to give "women" (again such a gross generalization!) what (you suppose) "they" (all) want, regardless of whether it's who you are or not? So basically, you're ready to betray your true self and fool the woman. To gain what??