First of all congrats! Relatively few people ever allow themselves to even see, let alone acknowledge, just how empty life really is. Of course there’s nothing in your life worth living for! That’s a literal fact. You can seek meaning for the rest of your life, but in the end if you're honest with yourself, you’ll only see your own emptiness reflected back to you as the reality. And neither I, nor anyone else can give you any *honest* reason why you should not in fact kill yourself. And your depression, if it’s rational as opposed to chemical or situational, is a result of your anger at seeing this emptiness. Real despair is nothing more than an existential tempter tantrum aimed at the universe for not giving us what we think we need. We all think the universe owes us meaning. It doesn’t. We all think we need some externally given "meaning" to have a good life. We don't. The fact that you see, or at least glimpse this at some level, is good news because it allows you the freedom to look past the world given solutions to your big questions. You already intuit the futility of the typical person’s “ANSWER”. That just leaves one person left: You. Your reason for living must come entirely from within yourself. That is remarkably empowering. Good luck!  |