OK.... EVERYONE else has written everything so completely and eloquently, SOOOOOOOOOOO, I am going to be more blunt. OK?
Stop making excuses. Deep in your gut you know the truth. You have to put yourself FIRST. You are not married to this guy and owe him NOTHING! It appears, just as everyone has stated, that he wants what he wants and your feelings are not really his concern. You are good friends. He cares for you in many ways. BUT, not in the utmost respecting ways. Please just face the facts. This is going to sound crazy, I know...just bear with this... When I am in a quandry, sometimes I ask myself "What would Dr. Phil say?" I am not a huge fan of his, BUT, he doesn't let you lie to yourself. He puts it right there where it is and I can tell you that he would say, "Listen to what you are telling me. You have your answer." Or, some such statement. Everyone else has basically told you the same thing. I don't have much time to be more thorough on this next part, but you can add between the lines. This usually takes a level of maturity to understand and achieve... Lovingly, respectfully and completely, put yourself first. Take a STAND for what you want now and forsee for the rest of your life. And, stand by it!! Period. That is not harsh either. Getting a backbone isn't a negative thing. It is a self respecting thing. Never settle for less. You don't give less. I can tell by your posts. Don't EVER accept less than respectful treatment from someone. They need to love you in all the right ways. He doesn't. It is obvious that he doesn't respect you in an utmost way because he is treating you, your feelings with disrespect so he can have what he wants. Don't confuse that with anything else. You can care for someone, but not enough to do the right thing by them. PLEASE just face and accept that, OK? Decide what you want out of life, how you want it, how you want to be treated, how you want to experience it, etc... and NEVER settle for anything less. You won't be happy if you do. And that is just how it is, like it or not.
Like it or not is kinda rude, but it is exactly what you need to face. Learning to see the truth for what it really is, is one of the most difficult things to do. Because we all lie to ourselves to feel better about things. Get rid of all the buts, peel it down to it's core and face it! OK? I am really writing this with much feeling in my heart because I have been there, I am there in some ways now, so know that rude or not, it is coming from a really caring place. I look forward to hearing how you face this and the decisions you make and hear how you are going to stand for you and noone else!!!
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