@ Parthon: I've worked through both Covey's and Steve's methods for my purpose/mission statement and indeed my family is a strong point within that. You make an interesting point by saying that it's not the discipline but maybe conflicting values -which leads me on to thinking, maybe it's less conflicting values but more conflicting BELIEFS, which some people have already pointed out in this thread, it feels like the pieces are slowly coming together.
@ garaentee: Cheers mate.
@ Ree: Absolutely, I couldn't agree more, I remember once thinking that self-discipline was the solution to everyones problems lol. It was only later that I realised that the path we take is of course different for everyone since we're all different. Good luck with yours
@ Keith: Thanks for the link man, although the author didn't explain what you could do about the backpedalling the article was very insightful.
As to the solution which he promises in his book, I feel it might very well be based in 'Changing core-belifs' ideal, since this is the closest he gets to mentioning the solution in the article:
'It's your memories, beliefs, and imagination that define threats. And this can include things you saw in the movies, heard in a story, picked up from parents and peers, had happen to you, etc. So your "threat portfolio" can contain an awful lot of stuff that you never consciously decided to put there.'
Emphasis on memories, beliefs and imagination -which essentially are all thoughts. And changing your thoughts is changing your beliefs. The current belief changing process I'm using is by Marc Allen - 'The Millionaire Course' (highly recommended book!) which always has a summary of every chapter, so here's the one of 'Discover your core beliefs:
-We are limited only by our beliefs. This is the same as saying we are limited only by our thoughts.
-Our beliefs are not true in themselves, but they become true in our experience if we believe them.
-We can change our beliefs. Many of them naturally change and evolve throughout our lives, but we can also consciously change them. So why not change them for the better? We can consciously choose to create a more satisfying life experience.
-There is a simple process that helps us change our beliefs: the core belief process. It involves answering these questions -it is especially effective when we're in a difficult or stressful situation:
1.What problem, situation, or area of your life do you want to improve?
2.What emotions are you feeling?
3.What physical sensations are you feeling?
4.What are you thinking about?
5.What is the worst thing that could happen in this situation?
6.What is the best thing that could happen?
7.What fear or limiting belief is keeping you from creating what you want in this situation?
8.Create an affirmation to counteract and correct the negative, limiting belief.
9.Say or write your affirmation repeatedly over a period of several days.
-When you go through this process, you discover many things, including the 'watcher' the part of you that can quietly and calmly observe what is going on in your mind, without judgment, without reacting. Just discovering the watcher is a valuable key in itself.
I'm just starting to try out this method, because maybe this is where my problems lie, at my core beliefs.
Hope it helps.