Quote:
Originally Posted by robc  Even though this is just an online forum you really do come across as a warm, caring, loving & genuine person and your bf just screwed by tossing you aside for his "polyamorous" ways.
If one thing I can guarantee is this, once he loses you, he will be heart broken, call it karma, call it what goes around comes around but he will feel it, and it will be a mistake he regrets for a very long time in his life.
The saying "you never know what you have until you lose it" couldn't be more appropriate here. When he loses you he will know it and the freedom you gain because of this can only lead to bigger & better things for you.
You've finally gained some clarity & wisdom on a situation that's probably been bothering you for quite some time. I know from personal experience that it feels awesome when the answers to problems/questions that have been swimming around in your head for a long time finally come and when they do come, they bring alot of other answers along with them to (ie. where to go from here, new direction in life, a sense of real happiness, self-realization, tapping into your hidden potential, boosting your self-esteem, etc.)
YOU GO GIRL!!! 
(then I follow up my cheesy saying with that snapping thing with my fingers along with waving my hand and shaking my head, this probably didn't get described properly but it was funny enough to describe it anyways) |
oh, Rob ..
i wish that that is how i felt. maybe that feeling will come when this is all done with, but it's barely begun. i said that i was going to leave when he was gone, but i decided that it was not an honourable thing to do. so instead today when he got home, i told him ..
'i don't think i want this anymore.'
what followed was worse than i ever imagined and i quickly learned that i made a bad choice in being 'honourable'. he is always so confident and sure on a daily basis, but what i saw today was some other creature entirely. at first he lashed out at me with insults -- i could not say anything at all. i tried to softly say things to make it better but he told me that i am no one now. just some girl. and then he was screaming about how he has nothing and how he is a loser and the girls always leave him. and then he was crying and saying he was going to die because there is nothing left. when he calmed down, he began to talk in this horribly soft, sarcasic way -- it was just so full of self-loathing. i had to stay quiet because when i tried to talk he would pulll my hair .. so i just listened
a feeling began to grow in me during this time that i have not experienced before. it took me a moment to recognise it. i was actually disgusted for a moment. i feel bad about feeling like that, but it happened.
he kept saying these very dark things and asked if i would really leave him, and now i feel very bad because i said no. i was scared. the truth is that i will leave, though, but i have to do it when he is not home. i will have to find someone to help me move my things
~faye