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robc · 04-30-2008, 10:09 PM

No matter what you think, you cannot have control over the other person. You never have and you never will. Only by changing your own behavior, the behavior that so far has not worked very well, will you cause your partner to change in the way that you want them too indirectly, in the way that you can love them and they can love you.

In fact your partner is not going to change, they will only start exhibiting their good side: the one that has always been there, the one that you loved in the first place, the side that has been hidden and withdrawn due to relationship problems.

Focus only on what you can do and who you can be in and for this relationship.

Trust me it's a tough concept to take in, and you may stumble along the way but it is the path to what you are wanting from this relationship.

04-30-2008, 10:09 PM	#26 (permalink)
robc Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 298	You're getting the idea now... No matter what you think, you cannot have control over the other person. You never have and you never will. Only by changing your own behavior, the behavior that so far has not worked very well, will you cause your partner to change in the way that you want them too indirectly, in the way that you can love them and they can love you. In fact your partner is not going to change, they will only start exhibiting their good side: the one that has always been there, the one that you loved in the first place, the side that has been hidden and withdrawn due to relationship problems. Focus only on what you can do and who you can be in and for this relationship. Trust me it's a tough concept to take in, and you may stumble along the way but it is the path to what you are wanting from this relationship.