Quote:
Originally Posted by danijelg  Hi Faye,
I have just read through all the posts in this thread and I would like to share my sympathy and some of my thoughts with you. About a year ago I have realized a great change emerging in me. Similarly to your case it wasn't at all pleasurable at the time and it brought me to the edge of depression and anxiety.
As Jim said - going through a personal change is very hard - but now, a year later, I see it as a blessing, because my eyes are open for many things in my life that were "wrong". This experience allowed me to realize that I must take full responsibility for my actions and that there were many things I wasn't satisfied with, yet systematically ignoring because it's easier to.
This is especially important when it comes to relationships. Many times in these forums it has been said that relationships, even the "bad" ones, are great opportunities for growth and I couldn't agree more. By learning to love ourselves, respect our needs and take responsibility, we gain a whole new perspective on our relationships. We must keep in mind that we represent 50% of our relationship - and that's a lot.
Believe me I have been amazed more than once with the effect of simply a different approach in communication. You say you know how he would respond to certain things you'd say to him, but in fact you don't. It's only a presumption. The only thing you can do is try and see what happens - whatever the result, you'll have a little more information about weather this partner suits you or not. The key is open communication and being aware of the information you receive.
Please remember that I am not in your shoes and only you have the power to lead your life to where you want it to go, but I hope I can help a bit by sharing this with you.
Best of luck, Danijel |
dear Danijel,
thank you for sharing those experiences of emotion with me. it means a lot to me that there are others out there who go through the same feelings or have gone through the same feelings.
please forgive the misunderstanding, though. when i said that i knew how he would react -- i meant it specifically toward what was suggested, because it was something that i had done before. so i meant that i had tried it and the reaction was not favourable. i do understand what you mean, though, and if i were so presumptuous then it would indeed be a grievous error.
but i've decided not to try and fix us anymore, regardless of my love. now i just need the courage to do what needs to be done and the more i think the more i seem to think my way out of it.
i am thinking that i will have to pack up my things while he is not there and leave when he is not there -- and tell him once i am safely away. this may sound very cruel but i am afraid it might be the only way i'll be able to follow through.
~faye