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Originally Posted by uberinquisitive  I totally don't believe that. You can take walks. You can call friends and ask to hang out. You can take the bus somewhere. You can rent a car for very cheap (take a taxi or bus to the rent-a-car center). |
actually, I only have one friend that I feel comfortable with calling up to hang out and they work 47 hours every week. That means that options to call somebody are limited. Renting a car is an absurd idea considering my situation - I have a car. Also, it's a huge pain to rent a car for anybody under 25. I've been busy using all my free time to finish working on my car and it's probably gonna be done for tomorrow. As for taking a bus somewhere, I just don't see the point. The only place I'd want to go is the bookstore to kill some time. Taking a tiring walk to the closest bus stop, waiting for a bus in a ghetto area, and worrying about bus times kind of kills my cafe buzz. The only things within walking distances are fast food places and a convenience store. I might sound lazy but going so far out of my way to go to a cafe or the bookstore doesn't really make sense to me. I'm happy to go outside with a book and disappear for a while but that's not a reliable solution. anyway, I think it's silly that I'm explaining myself but my point is that I was just venting. getting away time isn't my top priority any more. Getting my act together is.
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I doubt he's actually out to punish you - if anything, he's probably so caught up in his own hurt, that he's only thinking of himself. But YOU'RE interpreting his actions as "he's punishing me."
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"I feel like..." isn't an accusatory or conclusive thing to say, is it? I phrased it that way on purpose.
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In the meantime, you can use this challenging situation as your spiritual practice. As Eckhart Tolle says, your true level of consciousness comes out during the tough times. So right now, you can almost thank your bf for pushing your buttons, and use this time to really burn up your ego and pain body.
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Eckart Tolle's work is definitely applicable here. In fact... that might just be the next book I go sit outside with.
