I honestly haven't felt this miserable in a very long time, but I suppose its good in a way. This whole situation has kind of made me realize a few things. One of the more important things would be staying driven to accomplish an objective I have and not worry about the little things life throws at you.
In my OLS (Organization, Leadership, and Supervision) 274 Applied Leadership class the teacher gave us a quote. "You CAN'T change a person. The best you can do is manage their enviornment to make them want to change for themselves" and honestly...I believe it. She used to smoke a lot of pot before I started talking to her, and I told her from the start that I don't tolerate that stuff...so if she wants to be with me it has to stop or severely be reduced. Believe it or not, she actually stopped...until last Saturday when all of this went down. I understand that it was a daily habit and it's hard to break it, but if she stopped to actually have a chance with me why not just stop for good?
As I probably mentioned before, it's killing me not talking to her! It's probably for the best in this situation though. As the days pass it's getting easier and easier for me to kind of forget about everything. I just have to stay busy and really focus on what matters most to me...racing
I really do honestly appreciate everyone giving their view on it. This is exactly why I keep coming back, because the people on this forum honestly care about helping people with their problems etc.
A few questions to ponder...
1) Would it be likely that she wanted a break because I wasn't wanting to score a homerun? I'm one of the few guys who has morals and values, and isn't in a relationship just for the "gold".
2) Could she honestly be confused about really liking me and yet still loving her ex?
3) *Just throwing this out here* Does she think that I'm too good for her?
Once again, thank you to everyone for giving me some insight...