[maxdof]

I know from my part that I have found a global, final, solution, which is The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, who focuses on the character ethic:


"
The character ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
But shortly after World War I the basic view of success shifted from the character ethic to what we
might call the personality ethic.

This personality ethic essentially took two paths: one was human and public relations techniques, and the other was positive mental attitude (PMA). Some of this philosophy was expressed in inspiring and sometimes valid maxims such as [...] "Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve.
Other parts of the personality approach were clearly manipulative, even deceptive, encouraging people to use techniques to get other people to like them, or to fake interest in the hobbies of others to get out of them what they wanted, or to use the "power look," or to intimidate their way through life. Some of this literature acknowledged character as an ingredient of success, but tended to compartmentalize it rather than recognize it as foundational and catalytic.

Reference to the character ethic became mostly lip service; the basic thrust was quick-fix influence techniques, power strategies, communication skills, and positive attitudes. "
"
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey


You may have encountered a lot of attractive solutions before (NLP, Subliminal blabla, LOA...), but they are all focusing only on the personality ethic, you want to focus on your character ethic first. Then you can focus on your personality ethic. But you need to build a solid base around yourself first.



" If I try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to
work better, to be more motivated, to like me and each other -- while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity -- then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do -- even using so-called good human relations techniques -- will be perceived as manipulative. It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanentsuccess. Only basic goodness gives life to technique. "
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey


But be aware, it is a long run fight.
After 3 years of deception, you know that, I garantee you that this book won't deceive you.


" Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm -- to forget to plant in the
spring, play all summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest? The farm is a natural system.The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut. "
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey


I won't copy paste the whole book, but it provides a global solution, which I embrace and use and test, I've been working on the first and third habit, I'm focusing on the second now, I have never been deceived and everyday I feel more proactive, and more stable. I can't wait to masterize the 3 first habits (personnal victory), to attack the 3 next (public victory).

Search on Google, wikipedia etc...

Good luck on your journey!