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Originally Posted by uberinquisitive  I doubt he's so devious. You're projecting your own fears onto him, and then scapegoating him.
If you don't like him always harping on you - stay out of the house as many hours a day as possible! It's as easy as that. Hang out at a coffee shop that has wireless. Bring your laptop and do what you usually do. Or go to the library and read. Go see a movie a day, by yourself. Go to a bar at night and meet new people. For very little money, you can keep yourself occupied ALL DAY.
Why are you trying to explain things to him? So he'll understand? Why should he understand? There isn't some law that says he has to understand. He's being himself. You're being yourself.
Let it go. |
I don't think she is scapegoating him, she pursued him to make the relationship work, she's making changes in her life and he rejected her.
Now that she is trying to make some really big changes in her life and move away, he's seeing that she is serious and is trying to get back what he previously let go of. This is very possible, it's human nature to want what you don't have. He had the relationship, she pursued him, he didn't want her yet, he wanted to dictate the time when the relationship would be healed and ready for him. She changed her mind, decides that she will move away to get a fresh start on a new life, he sees that she is serious and pulling away and now he wants what he can't have. This is very real, I can definitely picture this happening.
If she has to stay out of the house because he's "harping" on her, she loses control of her life. She can't stay at her home because he's arguing with her. I would just say stay at home, ignore him but do you as you please, where you please. Don't get in the habit of conforming to someone else's will to make them happy, make yourself happy, show that you have a backbone, if you have to leave the house just because he is there, he knows he has that effect on you and will continue to do other things to make your life uncomfortable - he knows he has this control over.
You don't need to argue with him, in fact I'll tell you that at this point, an argument will turn into something really heated, given the change in the circumstances, but you don't have to be submissive either. Just ignore him or tell him that you would prefer not to argue and if he wants an argument, you will just ignore him.