Quote:
Originally Posted by Interpreneur  I have been dating a wonderful woman for a few months now. She's in her lates 20s, divorced for 4 years, and has 3 children.
This week I learned that at one point about 5 years ago my girlfriend and her sister (who has been my employee for a few years) swapped husbands for one night as part of a drunken bet during a vacation trip to Las Vegas. Apparently they were all staying in the same room as had sort of a foursome, although the details are not very clear.
This surprised me for many reasons, but mostly because I would have never expected this from my girlfriend, even if it happened in her younger, drunken days (although I never knew she had any drunken days in her past).
I found out after her sister's husband told me that he had "f****d my girlfriend" during one of his jealous rants. I asked her sister if there was any truth to that, and at first she denied it, but since I know her so well, I knnew there was something to the story.
Eventually she told me what happened that one night in Vegas, but during the conversation she also mentioned that even though my girlfriend has settled down since her divorce, that she is "no saint" and that there are a lot of things I don't know about her.
Now, I have had a pretty wild sexual past myself, which I have not told my girlfriend about because I'm afraid she'll judge me the wrong way. But now that I know about this, I'm not sure how to deal with it.
The thought of my GF being a little freaky like I was before I met her is a huge turn on, but on the other hand, she has changed my life for the better and we have had a very clean and respectful relationship.
So basically I don't know if I should come clean about my sexual past in hopes of her coming clean about hers....or if bringing any of this up is a big mistake that will damage the relationship.
Considering the sinfulness of her "youthful indiscretion" (because it also involved her own sister), I'm not sure if she will be willing to discuss that with me.
Any advice? |
If you want to talk about your past, tell each other that you've had several partners (no actual number) and that you've been responsible & safe (no std's, condoms, birth control, etc. speaking of which, have you both been tested, if not, why not?). Other than that, don't go into specifics about what you did with past partners, who your past partners were, etc. Indirectly you can setup a rivalry this way which can lead to jealousy.
What if you had seven partners in the past and she had 27? Or vice versa?
You might say to yourself, wow, she has more experience than I do.
You might be questioning yourself at that point, feel insecure, lose some self-esteem, might view your partner negatively, etc.
Your past is your past, leave it there. Leave her's there as well.
Bring up the past, you will bring up the problems of the past, it is guaranteed.
You can't change the past, thinking about it, focusing your energy on it will remove your energy & focus on the present and your present will suffer because of it.
Enjoy your present, leave the past alone, get butt wild with your girlfriend and enjoy the benefits that you provide to each other in the present without worrying about the past or the future. Just have fun.
Leave the past where it is, that's my advice.
Don't judge her and she won't judge you. Make that a pattern of behavior to repeat and you have a solid relationship - trust me!!!