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Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}  Just mulling over some thoughts. I wonder what everyone thinks of this:
I happen to be blessed with a decent job, a well-running car and some expendable income. I enjoy helping my friends and family out when I can. Most of the time I give or serve with joy, thinking about how nice it feels to be in a position to help out people I love. But sometimes I feel taken advantage of. It happens more with certain people than with others and I'm not sure what that means. I have thought maybe I expect reciprocation from certain people and not from others. But I'm not sure what to do about any of this. If in one situation I pay for a friend's meal without giving it a second thought and in another I pay but feel taken for granted, what is the difference?
I guess I've been thinking of the whole Lightworker thing and how the attitude I find myself having fits in. I feel like I definitely would choose Lightworker over Dark. And after reading seeker5's post I find myself wanting to commit to a life of service. But isn't it selfish to want to withhold from certain people because they "should" reciprocate? And wouldn't a "True Lightworker" give without such selfish thoughts?
I want to add that this only affects how I feel about giving and serving people closest to me, not strangers, which makes me think there is more behind it. And that people are always telling me I make it easy for others to take advantage of me because I offer to help so willingly and people come to expect it. It seems like at those times when I am genuinely exhausted or broke and have to turn down a request, people get offended. |
From your post you sound like life is treating you well (congrats, keep pressing forward, whatever you're doing, do more of, LOA is treating you well, go with it!!!).
As for your example where you take out a friend for lunch and pay for lunch and don't feel bad but when you do the same for the other person, you feel like you're being taken advantage of. Quick remedy for that would be... stop taking that other person out for free lunches, if it bothers you to the point where you feel bad about it afterwards, you're getting no benefit from that lunch (other than nutrition & calories) so stop having lunch with that specific person.
Before you say it isn't that simple... STOP!
It really is that simple. What isn't simple is the fact that you will reject that solution because you make it difficult on yourself to stop performing this action.
You have control over your life, thoughts & actions.
You can't control other people's thoughts & actions.
It would be nice for your 2nd friend to reciprocate and buy you lunch every now & then to match your good deed but it isn't a requirement in life, it's not a necessity, you will live & survive regardless if they do this or not. Once you realize this, you have power. Take control of the situation, if that person's company during lunch isn't enough payment to have lunch with them that you feel cheated or taken advantage of, stop having lunch with that person, stop paying for lunch for that person, just STOP!
Being selfish isn't the worst thing.
In fact I think it might be helping a little.
It means you place value on your life, it means you believe that good things should & will happen to you. You can be selfless & help other people but if you can't do that without feeling bad, that may not be the life for you.
It's your reality, it's your life, do the things that make you feel good in life, place yourself in alignment with positive things in your life, this way more good things will appear in your life, you will enjoy it much better.
Learn to stop feeling bad about things you are doing or at least stop doing the things that make you feel bad.
Stop buying lunch for this person, it will not make you a bad person.
If you are required to have lunch with this person, ask for separate bills when the cheque comes, it's not bad to do this.
You never know, this person may end up buying you lunch one of these days out of the blue.
Just my 0.02 cents cdn. Let me know how it works out!
