Quote:
Originally Posted by uberinquisitive  I doubt he's so devious. You're projecting your own fears onto him, and then scapegoating him.
If you don't like him always harping on you - stay out of the house as many hours a day as possible! It's as easy as that. Hang out at a coffee shop that has wireless. Bring your laptop and do what you usually do. Or go to the library and read. Go see a movie a day, by yourself. Go to a bar at night and meet new people. For very little money, you can keep yourself occupied ALL DAY.
Why are you trying to explain things to him? So he'll understand? Why should he understand? There isn't some law that says he has to understand. He's being himself. You're being yourself.
Let it go. |
I don't know... you may right. I've been having a really hard time looking at this situation with clarity because it's so emotionally charged for me. I used to be very black and white in my ways of thinking/feeling... and I really want to stay away from that because I know it's not good for me. I'm at my most peaceful when I'm free of blame and judgment.
I just don't know what to make of the relationship I've been in. There are so many unhealthy aspects of it that I've been in denial over. I have trauma issues from my childhood that I haven't gotten treatment for yet and they played a huge role in how our relationship was. I've had horrible experiences in this relationship.....*sigh* I don't even know how to talk about it fairly. It's so complicated. A part of myself is angry because he sidetracked me from getting the help I needed for so long. so much internal conflict... I really just want to do good for myself now.
about leaving the house to get space: that's how I managed to get where I am today... by going to the park, making new friends, and journaling outside. I've been in a hard spot lately though because my car's alternator died and we didn't have any money since I quit my job. I've been working on fixing my car myself because I can't afford to get it done in the shop and I'll be finished tomorrow. until then, I've been having a really hard time just dealing with each day, especially since I'm stuck at home. I'm fixing my car so I can leave.