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Originally Posted by YourSelf  May I know just how specifically they picked on you for not being attractive? |
Well, I was born and raised in Tulsa, where my parents enrolled me in a private Christian school, where all the kids were such goody-two-shoes that no one called out anyone else on anything that might be considered socially unacceptable behavior, so when my family moved to Houston the summer after I finished 4th grade, I started attending public schools in a rather ghetto community, where kids are much more ruthless, and because I hadn't been shaped up to that point on what was socially acceptable behavior and what wasn't, I was easily singled out and almost instantly outcast, and it took me until college before I actually was able to bloom socially...this after having gone through many years of strong suicidal and homicidal thoughts, including several attempts to take my own life.
Also, in that public school district, I was a racial minority (I'm White, and most students there were Black and Hispanic). I've also been severely overweight or obese all throughout my life (up until this year, when I started finally getting in shape and dropped a lot of fat), so that contributed to my overall "ugliness" for which I was chastised. And because I actually liked unpopular things (certain music genres such as classical, jazz, and new wave; billiards; learning about Nazi Germany and the Holocaust; learning in general; mathematics; chess; philosophy and theology) and didn't like the popular things (sports, rap and pop music), people had further reasons to criticize me. In essence, I was the fat, White, nerdy kid that wasn't very good at social interaction. Plus having to deal with my developing homosexuality and contradictions between my own religious beliefs and those of my family, I had a lot of internal struggles that just added to everything else.
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Plus, is this lack of attractivity something totally undynamic (e.g. that you can't counterbalane throught weight loss, weight gain, good clothing, better haircut, etc.)?
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Contrary to popular stereotypes, even though I'm gay, I have no sense of good fashion or styling or anything like that. I'm a T-shirt/shorts kind of guy, and don't do much to my hair. But, as I stated above, I AM getting into better shape, at least...but I still feel that I'm not that attractive, as the face is usually a deciding factor, and I feel my face is rather plain.