Jim and Yourself: I didn't mean to say that my looks were directly connected to my success as a composer, but it's a downline sort of method...let me try to spell it out more clearly:
I am not attractive -> People pick on me for not being attractive (among other things) -> People picking on me steals away any semblance of confidence I have in myself or sense of self-worth -> I become reclusive, shy, and not very social -> I do not put myself out in situations that might allow me to succeed because of social fears and anxieties -> My music doesn't get heard, and I am therefore not a success.
So if I changed the starting point, I could logically play an alternate life like this:
I AM attractive -> People don't pick on me as much and instead are warm towards me and encourage me -> My sense of self-worth and confidence are boosted and bolstered -> I become outgoing and socially active -> I advance on opportunities that might make me successful -> My music gets heard, and I become successful in getting my music published, performed, and recognized.
But to change that, I'd have to find a way to both go back in time and alter my DNA so that I'm attractive growing up. Which I obviously can't do.
Midas: Only people online seem to think I'm attractive--I think the camera and Internet collaborate to make me appear more attractive than I really am. As for "real world" situations, I can count the number of times I've been hit on with a single hand. This leads me to believe that I'm not really that attractive, and that pictures of myself I post online are misleading for some reason.
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