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Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}  Just mulling over some thoughts. I wonder what everyone thinks of this:
I happen to be blessed with a decent job, a well-running car and some expendable income. I enjoy helping my friends and family out when I can. Most of the time I give or serve with joy, thinking about how nice it feels to be in a position to help out people I love. But sometimes I feel taken advantage of. It happens more with certain people than with others and I'm not sure what that means. I have thought maybe I expect reciprocation from certain people and not from others. But I'm not sure what to do about any of this. If in one situation I pay for a friend's meal without giving it a second thought and in another I pay but feel taken for granted, what is the difference?
I guess I've been thinking of the whole Lightworker thing and how the attitude I find myself having fits in. I feel like I definitely would choose Lightworker over Dark. And after reading seeker5's post I find myself wanting to commit to a life of service. But isn't it selfish to want to withhold from certain people because they "should" reciprocate? And wouldn't a "True Lightworker" give without such selfish thoughts?
I want to add that this only affects how I feel about giving and serving people closest to me, not strangers, which makes me think there is more behind it. And that people are always telling me I make it easy for others to take advantage of me because I offer to help so willingly and people come to expect it. It seems like at those times when I am genuinely exhausted or broke and have to turn down a request, people get offended. |
I think it occurs with friends when there is no reciprocity from one or the other. I think of it this way. If you're enabling them to be a mooch, that is not good for them either. If they're really broke, then I will help them find a job. If it's just something where they are used to taking, I would ask them if they shouldn't think about not going out if they don't want to pay for it. I'm tired right now, so it's hard for me to think straight, but I personally will take a broke friend out every once in a while, but if they do it too much, I'll surprise them every once in a while by asking for their share. If they say they don't have it on them, I say, "No problem, I'll walk you to an ATM." I just don't ever let them get used to it. Sometimes I'll be like, "You get this one. I'll get you next time." and just walk away. This way they never get used to me paying for everything. If they don't like it, they don't have to hang out with me.