[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Just mulling over some thoughts. I wonder what everyone thinks of this:

I happen to be blessed with a decent job, a well-running car and some expendable income. I enjoy helping my friends and family out when I can. Most of the time I give or serve with joy, thinking about how nice it feels to be in a position to help out people I love. But sometimes I feel taken advantage of. It happens more with certain people than with others and I'm not sure what that means. I have thought maybe I expect reciprocation from certain people and not from others. But I'm not sure what to do about any of this. If in one situation I pay for a friend's meal without giving it a second thought and in another I pay but feel taken for granted, what is the difference?

I guess I've been thinking of the whole Lightworker thing and how the attitude I find myself having fits in. I feel like I definitely would choose Lightworker over Dark. And after reading seeker5's post I find myself wanting to commit to a life of service. But isn't it selfish to want to withhold from certain people because they "should" reciprocate? And wouldn't a "True Lightworker" give without such selfish thoughts?

I want to add that this only affects how I feel about giving and serving people closest to me, not strangers, which makes me think there is more behind it. And that people are always telling me I make it easy for others to take advantage of me because I offer to help so willingly and people come to expect it. It seems like at those times when I am genuinely exhausted or broke and have to turn down a request, people get offended.