Quote:
Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}  I am not going to tell you you have to be content with your "fragile fidelity."
I agree with aspiring 100% (see we do agree on some things!)
Either leave your wife and pursue this relationship or realize it's normal to have these types of feelings and look to the apparently wonderful 19 year relationship with your wife and ask "is it worth giving that up for a roll in the hay?"
I don't believe it's some kind of mandate that people be in monogomous relationships for all eternity, but since it doesn't seem there are any major issues in your marriage, I think your wife at least deserves the curtesy of not being deceived. Not that I think it would be right to behave without integrity even if she were a colossal jerk. Go ahead and pursue a relationship with this other woman, but only after you have divorced your wife. Or alternately discussed and agreed on an open relationship. If you are saying to yourself "but I love my wife, I don't want to leave her, I just want to have some fun too" then to you I say "GROW UP." And if I could reach through this computer screen I would slap you.
Sorry to be harsh, but I feel the attitude you have is really selfish. Just like you are free to feel like I am being a bitch.
Good luck and hopefully you will get some more compassionate advice from other posters. My stance on infidelity is that it is unnecessarily cruel (when in a relationship where fidelity is agreed upon). If you want to be with someone else, do it by all means, but don't lie about it.
Edit: Also, what would your reaction be if your found you wife had these types of feelings? |
If this is all just for sex with a hot piece of a$$, is it really worth ruining the marriage? Is this really a relationship you will be able to pursue when you're marriage is over? You will kick yourself in the head for the rest of your life once you realize that your one time with this lady cost you a life time with the woman you're married to. And you will tell yourself it wasn't worth it, I can guarantee you that. When you divorce from your wife because of this failure on your part, you will be depressed, hurt, angry at yourself that you hurt your wife that has been an angel in your life all these years.
Trust me, you'll probably want to cut your dick off after all this happens to you, just for the taste of another "pie".
In the end, it's your call, I hope you think it's worth it, I can tell you it isn't but sometimes people have to learn the hard way.