My experience is that if someone else is pushing my buttons, and for some reason, I have strong feelings about what they're choosing to do... it's not about them. Usually, they are reflecting something inside myself that I haven't yet accepted.
I'm not sure of the path you'll take to get there, but I *know*, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that total acceptance - of your sister, her choices, and yourself - is the key.
What's keeping you from accepting her as she is? |