Quote:
Originally Posted by JimOfferman  I find I usually have two first impressions on people - one is what I think on first contact, the other is what I feel. What I think of someone at first glance often turns out to be a wrong impression later on, but the first thing I feel almost never is. |
Yes, this is an important distinction. Often when we see people we are primarily seeing our thoughts about them. But intuitive feelings are more reliable. Still, there is no need to assume anything about them, unless you are in physical danger.
Here's an interesting exercise: Think of someone important in your life (a friend, lover, etc.) Try to remember the first instance you met. Picture as much as you can about the moment (the circumstances, your mood, what they were wearing, the first things you said to each other), and try to remember what thoughts you had about them at the time. Try to remember who you thought they were at the time. Almost always, the impression you had does not fit what you know about who they are now.
It is always worth giving people the benefit of the doubt.
If someone initially met me when I happened to be in a terrible mood, they might convince themselves that that is my normal disposition. How unfortunate for both of us.