Hi Faye,
I have just read through all the posts in this thread and I would like to share my sympathy and some of my thoughts with you. About a year ago I have realized a great change emerging in me. Similarly to your case it wasn't at all pleasurable at the time and it brought me to the edge of depression and anxiety.
As Jim said - going through a personal change is very hard - but now, a year later, I see it as a blessing, because my eyes are open for many things in my life that were "wrong". This experience allowed me to realize that I must take full responsibility for my actions and that there were many things I wasn't satisfied with, yet systematically ignoring because it's easier to.
This is especially important when it comes to relationships. Many times in these forums it has been said that relationships, even the "bad" ones, are great opportunities for growth and I couldn't agree more. By learning to love ourselves, respect our needs and take responsibility, we gain a whole new perspective on our relationships. We must keep in mind that we represent 50% of our relationship - and that's a lot.
Believe me I have been amazed more than once with the effect of simply a different approach in communication. You say you know how he would respond to certain things you'd say to him, but in fact you don't. It's only a presumption. The only thing you can do is try and see what happens - whatever the result, you'll have a little more information about weather this partner suits you or not. The key is open communication and being aware of the information you receive.
Please remember that I am not in your shoes and only you have the power to lead your life to where you want it to go, but I hope I can help a bit by sharing this with you.
Best of luck, Danijel
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