Thanks Steve, this makes a little more sense. I still think there is a definite shift of...writing emotion for darkworkers now than before, but that could be something simple as style critique, and I imagine you have plenty of that.
Right now, in my own life, I'm dealing with a lot of very personal, very me-specific issues, most notably self-discipline, and I recently found personally adopting a more darkworker 1.0 type mentality resonated a lot more - so when the frist post a few days ago came out, it was like ow - my choice makes me evil?? Self-centered maybe, sure, but evil? Ow.
I've had nearly zero discipline in my life, always relying on brains or luck to get ahead, and now that I'm older, lacking any kind of discipline - whether eating, studying, exercise, etc - is literally killing me (literally - the health issues escalated to the point of "fix this or die"). Right now I need an iron-hard will that is totally self-centered as far as some issues go ("hey, do you want to hang out tonight?" - No, I can't), and pursuing a monk'like discipline made a lot of sense, and was working. Is working.
But that all being said, I still seem to feel a third path is possible - it's possible to be totally self-centered up to the point of not helping but also not OVERTLY harming. Like, if someone was badgering me for attention, I could serenly yet sternly say "no - i need to be alone and do this myself, and besides you are an enabler" but not say "I'm going to have to kill you to avoid enablers in my life".
I liken it to being in musical school - when it was time to practice for recital, for SOLO recital, I did one thing besides eat and sleep and that was practice by myself. I didn't help someone else who needed a tutor, but I didn't kill them to get them to leave me alone, either.
Wouldn't a monk in the desert, staring at the wall for 20 years, who isn't helping any collective good and is focusing 100% on their own mind, be this kind of...something worker?  |