Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina  You also attract others of similar polarity, sometimes as mentors. |
Wow, that's what happened to me!
I used to be a true darkworker and I met a person who was even more strongly polarised. It was like I was Darth Vader and my "friend" was the Emperor.
But, yeah, it was pretty "evil" stuff. After a year of helping each other develop we had a steadily growing number of followers. We both took daring decisions and courageously pursued out desires. I even quit uni to start a business, deeming knowledge to be no use to me! Eventually when we went separate ways I felt compelled to tell his girlfriend what a bast*rd he is. This fact is not in question. He was evil and I mean that in an entirely non-judgmental way. He really was good at getting all of his selfish desires satisfied with an efficiency and unwavering focus that I've never seen in anyone else.
I'm really unsure about what I did now but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing by "helping" his girlfriend, even though she loved him very much. Needless to say we haven't spoken at all since. He didn't even feel the need to take revenge for my betrayal. He's too good for that- he knew there was no point.
Since my act of "lightworking" I've been confused and lost. And because I recognised the darkworker in me but sensed something slightly wrong, felt the need to start threads about darkworkers here every few months or so.
But,seriously, since I depolarised my life has lost its colour. I've lost all attraction for women, see little point in anything and have been choosing safe, unexciting life paths. But I think I'm gradually becoming a lightworker... bit by bit...it's interesting the way it happens. I just suddenly began to feel a degree of compassion towards others and the other day subjective reality introduced itself to me. I don't know if the fact I went vegan 10 days before that realisation is a coincidence...
Anyway, really good stuff Steve. I think darkworker/lightworker/npc is a great perspective.