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Originally Posted by Faye  thankfully i have no problems with not raising my voice. it's not really something that i am compelled to do, otherwise i would be in a lot of trouble. on the contrary, i am very apologetic. i wish that i could say your advice would work in this particular case. if i were to leave the room or tell him please not to raise his voice-- if i were to do that, i already know what would happen. i swear i am not being defeatist or refusing to help myself. i am in a very bad place and i have to do something. thank you for advice on the temper thing. if things were normal then i know exactly how valuable that would be, but my wishing that i could be helpful really is just wishful thinking. |
I am happy that you at least recognize that
you have to do something. You
and only you are in control of what goes on in your life. Everything that happens to you (save, maybe, freak acts of nature) happens because you allow it to happen. Herein lies your responsibility and power.
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i feed the flame by existing.
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That is not true. The flame feeds on your existence, because you allow it - but if you remove yourself from the spark, the flame will die.
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i dearly apologise if that is frustrating or if i am worrisome after putting thought into your replies.
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No need to apologize - I, like most here, offer my thoughts for free, but also without guarantee or expectations. In the end, it is (here we go again) your responsibility to life your life as best you can - not mine. All I can do is offer some suggestions that may help you.
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it's just .. harder than that. not harder as in i do not have the willpower -- harder as in .. it will not work how you think.
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Yes, taking full responsibility for your life is hard. Very hard, in fact. I believe that is the number one reason why so many among us refuse to do so.
However, as a former responsibility avoiding drone, I can tell you this: taking full responsibility also leads to a life that is infinitely more gratifying than just being along for the ride.
It is your choice.