Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow  Dear Faye,
I can relate to you about not liking confrontation and taking his help for making decisions and all.
I see that you are a veryyy understanding person. This thread proves it. You are trying to see his view because you believe you can change your perspective and a lot of times, all you need is a different perspective to solve problems. This is true a lot of times but not all. Sometimes, it's just not about solving problems. Emotions aren't just those things we learned and the way we grew up. They are an essential part of who you are.
The reason why I can relate to you is because I am very similar to you when it comes to understanding people. I will feel bad for yelling at someone if they gave me a reason that makes sense about why they did something EVEN if I know that what they did could have been avoided. I let it be. It's like the understanding level is so very high that I forget about my needs. This is when it sucks the most.
Lately, I have been getting very angry at myself for doing that. Uberinquisitive's question about loving yourself enough really spoke to me because that is really what my problem is. I do not have to understand people as much as I try to. Those people need to understand my view if they care about me. And you know what? I feel selfish thinking that. I know that I am not doing anything wrong but I feel selfish if I know I have the capability to understand their view and I still decide not to. Now, I do end up in more confrontations and I make other people see my views.
Anyways, point of this post is not to rant about myself. I really would like you to see that extremely understanding part of yourself and see how that might be working against you. It almost feels like you/me are better than other people and above it all which is an awesome feeling (I am not saying we are better :P) But we still haven't (at least I haven't) reached Enlightenment to really be able to give myself to other people and not let their lack of ability make me put myself second. |
{{{{Yellow}}}}! hello and nice to meet you. i have done so good with keeping my replies in order, so i am sorry if it seemed like i overlooked your post.
let me assure you that the neglect was not due to any shortcomings of yours. thank you so much for this thoughtfulness, and it is interesting to know that i may have a kindred spirit in the world. i hope yellow is your favourite colour or song and not some subtle self-namecalling! i think it's a very pretty colour.
i'm sorry that you've been angry at yourself lately over those things. i know how frustrating it can be and how selfish it can make you feel. it is really heartening to me that you were able to start pushing yourself forward and standing up for yourself. is it as bad as you imagined that it would be? lots of second-guessing?