Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Does anyone believe it is possible to overcome loneliness without a relationship?

TravisBickle · 04-23-2008, 12:13 PM

Hello Smart People,

Let me preface this question with a bit about myself. I'm young (21 years old) and overall quite successful in most areas of my life. I maintaining a regular workout regime, set and acheive goals and have already done quite in my career.

However, I find women a really difficult part of life. I struggle to approach them and feel uncomfortable around those who I'm attracted to. I've even tried internet dating and have generally been rejected. To make matters worse, I suffer a bad case of performance anxiety. So the few girls I have manage to attract, haven't hung around long after the sex part.

Intellectually, it makes sense for me to give up the pursuit of women. I feel like I should be able to live a really fulfilling life without a partner. But, the loneliness so far has been an inescapable pain. It sometimes feels like every part of me is wired to want women.

So, my question is, does anyone think that it is possible to overcome loneliness without actually having a partner? Has anyone had any experience with this? Has anyone ever heard of ways of conditioning the mind to lose the desire to be with a partner (not libido - that's easily dealth with)? Or, is it so ingrained in our being that loneliness is inevitable for those of us who struggle with the opposite sex (or same sex, of course)?

Thanks!

04-23-2008, 12:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
TravisBickle Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 41	Does anyone believe it is possible to overcome loneliness without a relationship? Hello Smart People, Let me preface this question with a bit about myself. I'm young (21 years old) and overall quite successful in most areas of my life. I maintaining a regular workout regime, set and acheive goals and have already done quite in my career. However, I find women a really difficult part of life. I struggle to approach them and feel uncomfortable around those who I'm attracted to. I've even tried internet dating and have generally been rejected. To make matters worse, I suffer a bad case of performance anxiety. So the few girls I have manage to attract, haven't hung around long after the sex part. Intellectually, it makes sense for me to give up the pursuit of women. I feel like I should be able to live a really fulfilling life without a partner. But, the loneliness so far has been an inescapable pain. It sometimes feels like every part of me is wired to want women. So, my question is, does anyone think that it is possible to overcome loneliness without actually having a partner? Has anyone had any experience with this? Has anyone ever heard of ways of conditioning the mind to lose the desire to be with a partner (not libido - that's easily dealth with)? Or, is it so ingrained in our being that loneliness is inevitable for those of us who struggle with the opposite sex (or same sex, of course)? Thanks!